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Friday, November 28, 2008

giving one's self........


"Sometimes I wish I were never born.
Still, I love to be here , transfixed on this plain,
this vast limbo without rim called living.
I like being here, feeling the wind and the sun
upon my skin, the fullness of my stomach,
the electric surge of an orgasm--now that I know it
---course through me."

"Life is a learning and not more, it is not about love for there is more to hate in this world than to love".

These according to the protagonist from my favorite local fiction book MASS written by F. Sionil Jose. (my favorite Filipino author)

The last of the 5 ROSALES NOVELS, MASS is the story of the illegitimate son named PEPE SAMSON. Now a grown up, he escapes from his village of Cabugawan to live in Manila's sprawling slum--TONDO. mass is the story of his journey from one swampland to another; it is also the story of thousands of young Filipinos who have finally found meaning in their lives. But more than a story of discovery, it is an affirmation of faith in the future as envisioned by the dedicated youth of today.


Most of the ideas of the protagonist were surprisingly similar as mine which is an indication that I am also a rebel like him. But things change and I would love to call myself a more refined man now. Still a lot of things to learn but I'm definitely far from the idealistic, restless and impulsive teenager that I was before......

What I particularly would like to note are the same lines I said to my girlfriend a few years ago when this book put together in words the emotions I have been feeling all along......

" I know that you are now my wife,
not because God or a priest
has sanctified our union,
but because this is how I regard you.
Though I may sleep with other women,
I know there will always be you--
separate fro all the rest,
Not just because i feel that you have
given me yourself, or your faith, and trust,
all of which i don't deserve,
but because I have given myself to you
as I will never give myself to anyone."

Yes, this is how I feel, I will say it again, to the woman I love, I HAVE GIVEN MYSELF TO YOU AS I HAVE NEVER GIVEN MYSELF TO ANYONE.........


  1. *hugs*

    Go have a good rest. And reward yourself by doing things you like. You can be depressed but don't let that prolong ya..

    Hope you get better when you see this. =)

  2. pusa cool ka lang ha? magiging ayos din ang lahat at nakakatuwa yung picture mo dun sa profile.

  3. Lz---I feel better now after seeing your message haha. I will take your advice.

    prinsesamusang---long time no see. welcome back,thanks

  4. meow...meow...

    aba at senti ang drama ng puSang-gala...hehe

    sige inGatz paRekoy...

  5. ramdam na nga talaga ang kalungkutan pero sana wag mo na itong damdamin masyado. alam ko naman na hindi madali pero mas lalo kang tumagal sa stage na yan, lalo ding tatagal bago ka makarecover. happy weekend.

  6. Spa lang katapat nian! winks*
    Hope u'll be better soon!


  7. meowww...ingatan ang puso...nag iisa lang yan ha...love takes two to tango, both should feel the same way...okay ba yan? happy weekend

  8. May I invite you to join Filipinos Unite!!!. You may do so by commenting on my blog or by sending an email to melalarilla@gmail.com stating your name, address, name of blog and it's url. I will appreciate it very much if you will join. Thank you very much and God bless.

  9. ang sweet. ang swerte naman nung gurl! kakaingget!

  10. is that a pinoy-authored book? I have never bought myself one. But because you had it posted here, im thinking of having one. haha.

  11. i know for sure,magiging masaya ka din in the end..just don't quit on her if she's the one you want to spend the rest of your life with..good luck friend!

  12. that last foto... original mo yan? very cool... i really like it.

  13. a very sentimental post...i can just symphatize with many of your thoughts..have a nice day my friend!

  14. You are a bookworm... You loves to read... Naks naman...

    Ako kasi tamad akong magbasa pero kapag medyo makulay na... You know... Interested ako... hehe! I love to listen more than to read...

  15. that was a nice one....

    sometimes it happens...aka nga yung sayings...'if she/he wants to go, let him/her go; if she/he come back to u- it is meant to be. If not, there is something good stored for u'

    ---one door closes , the other one opens---problema nga lang-hahanapin mo pa yung door!

    Anyway, very touching post!Kaya mo yan, ikaw pa?

  16. wow, kakatatch nman yung last part ng entry mo..hehe

    accdg to me, you seem like a very sweet and gentle person..pero cool ka lang tulad nga ng sabi nila - don't indulge yourself too much in that kind of feeling..

    you'll be just fine.

    (ganyan pala talaga mag-emote ang mga pusa)

  17. sige laban lang!!!

    balang araw makukuha mo rin yung hinihiling mo...

  18. mavs ---MEDYO LANG. HEHE

    the donG--i know dong. gusto ko lang ilabas. and I also want her to know. for the record baga.

  19. Chyng ---parang gusto ko nga bumalik na e. saka na uli.hehe.

    amiable amy --agree, two to tango and 2 to tangle.ayt? kaya to!!!

  20. Mel Avila Alarilla ---if it is for the common good. why not, check ko po later.

    JoShMaRie --hope I could make her feel that way.haha

  21. Allen Yuarata---yes it is and if you buy this one, you will surely learn a lot from it as much as I did....

    aquamarine---basta me moral support mo Lery go ako dyan.

  22. hay bago po ako sa blog niyo, at nabasa ko ang post niyo! yah ryt! eto na lang.... uhm, pahiram ng book? ^^ easy klang ok? di dapat ma depressed. depress na nga ako sasali ka din.. peace!

  23. KRIS JASPER --no kris--not my original. lifted lang po,.keke. You might think ako yung girl, hindi ha.keke

    Dennis Villegas ---salamat Denis---always heartwarming to see you around.

  24. Lionheart : Richard---sa totoo lang uo pero mabagal ako magbasa. ninanamnam kong mabuti so inaabot ako syam syam minsan.

    Mys Lyke Meeh --just wanna express what I am thinking. para mailabas lang....thanks


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